Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Métis


To the New World from over the sea
upon the Mayflower came the Pilgrim in me

An English beginning followed by French, Irish, Welsh, German and Swedish
American Indian blood binding with this

European born ancestral lines of time
a blood that flows through me but does not define
ME
who I am, who I am meant to be

HUMAN

From Michael’s Island
comes the Ojibwe in me-the Aishinaabag
in my grandmother through my mother’s side
blood carried with pride

from mother too comes
Pennacook Abenaki
through my grandfather an adoptee

By way of Minnesota a long time ago
through my father’s line does flow
blood belonging to the Nehiyaw- The Cree
it flows, all of this blood, through me

American Indian born ancestral lines of time
a blood that flows through me but does not define
ME
who I am, who I am meant to be

HUMAN

Between two worlds I stand
with two views of this New World-this beautiful land
How do you choose the side on which you stand?

We are HUMAN together
Creating this inclement weather
People of Red
People of Yellow
People of Black
People of White
People that fight

I have turquoise eyes and white skin
I Identify with the white world- the white kin
but mixed blood, this Métis, is a conflict within

I understand where I come from
because it is what I am- what I have become
yet it does not define me
who I am, who I am meant to be

HUMAN

There is no crime
in being a human in this world in this time
We can be human together
and survive this inclement weather

I stand with a knowledge and perspective
of both sides and beyond
it is up to me how I choose to respond
to a world full of hate
We are human-a form of bipedal primate
with a higher intelligence that tells us NOT TO HATE

We have the same face
We are one race

HUMAN


We all stand with a knowledge and perspective
of all sides and beyond
it is up to us how we choose to respond

Relative of White
Relative of Black
Relative of Yellow
Relative of Red
Relatives of each other

Colors of our skin maybe different

but the color of our blood is the same
our life force our inner flame
burns always Red
and I now understand the word Métis can be shed

There is no such thing as mixed blood in a HUMAN soul
we are a humanity we all comprise the WHOLE
©2009 L. Warren



Quick History Lesson regarding this poem: Generally in academic circles, the term Métis can be used to refer to any combination of persons of mixed Native American and European heritage, although historical definitions for Métis remain. Canada's Indian and Northern Affairs broadly define Métis as those persons of mixed First Nation and European ancestry. The Métis (from French Métis - any person of mixed ancestry) are people of mixed ancestry, such as Nehiyaw (or Anishinaabe) and French, English, or Scottish heritage. According to Indian and Northern Affairs Canada, the Métis were historically the children of French fur traders and Nehiyaw women or, from unions of English or Scottish traders and northern Dene women (Anglo- Métis).

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Triangles of Frau Lou

Oh, Louise Andreas-Salome did you put the trios in ménage trios?
Of you, of your mind, I am so in awe.
You the intellectual whore so misunderstood.
Oh Frau Lou to be like you, I wish I could!

What becomes of the female mind
when intelligence is to become so entwined?
A dangerous woman does it make?
Even Freud feared to be caught in your wake.

Oh, Frau Lou a lover of many men of great mind,
holder of a youthful beauty so pure it could blind.
The triangles of Frau Lou could once dangerously bind,
many a men of great mind.

Hendrik Gillot, Paul Ree, Friedrich Nietzsche, Frederick Carl Andreas,
George Ledebour, Frank Wedekind, Arthur Schnitzler,
Rainer Maria Rilke, Paul Bjerre, Vietor Tausk,
Adler, Carl Jung, Arnold Zweig,
Friedrich Pineless, Sigmund Freud and so many more,
fell under the charm of you, the intellectual whore.
Some loved you, some lusted after you.

Some did neither of both, but all respected you.

You, a keen observer of human nature with an indifference to moral convention,
with a burning desire for intellectual ascension.
You, whose sexuality and intellectual pursuits struggled in suspension.
Oh, Frau Lou your prose, your writings continue to hold my attention.

Louise Andreas-Salome, you found a brother hidden in every man,
only because you wished to live like a man.
A modern day tomboy of your time the women sought to ban.
You, a mastermind of female intelligence with a brilliant plan.

Frau Lou with your Pythagorean friendships and your insatiable intellectual curiosity
challenged the gender roles of your day with such ferocity.
You were Friedrich Nietzsche’s twin-flame and most painful atrocity.
You played a role in turning his mind into a mental monstrosity.

Oh, Frau Lou a lover of many men of great mind,
holder of a youthful beauty so pure it could blind.
The triangles of Frau Lou could once dangerously bind,
many a men of great mind.

A Hedda Gabler in living skin,

the two of you so much a kin.
The similarities seen even by Ibsen,
when he made his famous female protagonist your near twin.

Louise Andreas-Salome did you every psychoanalyze yourself?
Where you happy with yourself?
Did you ever find pride and contentment with yourself?
I have found the one great thing missing in your many works was yourself.

You once said, “Two are at one only when they remain two.”
Did you truly believe this to be true?
Your marriage unconsummated was not so unlike your brilliant works so devoid of you.
The distance between you and all you loved was a truth that was long over due.

I couldn’t help but take notice of your unspoken hurt.
You had empathy for others you would not subvert.
Yet you had an inability to recognize your own hurt,
your own loneliness, your own pain, to yourself you were inert.

Pain is a pleasurable part of life,
a necessary liberating strife.
You knew this well because you studied it with your very own life,

you lived your life with this strife.

Did you ever truly love at all?
Your detailed writings on sex and sexuality could enthrall,
but sex is just sex without love after all.
Were you never so lucky to ever have known true love at all?
(the green is the part I am still working)

Yes, but of course, you were your Romeo Rainer’s moonlight,
and the two of you made up for everything there wasn’t time for in one night.
Fourteen years your junior, oh, Frau Lou how reality does bite.
Your passionate love for him, though not meant to last, did burn bright.

Miss Louise Andreas- Salome, Miss Frau Lou
Truth tells me the triangles bound only you,
within time, within your mind, and your soul, you were bound by you,
within the triangles belonging to Frau Lou.
©2009 L.Warren

Political Rant Derived From the Contagiously False Ideals of Human Lemmings

*I am really depressed as of lately (Holiday Depression I suppose) and I am fed up with people so excuse my rather misanthropic and antigovernment inclined invective. What does it really matter anyways? I am just one small minute person in the sands of time, a mere fragment of silica in the grand scheme of things. No, I suppose in your mind my writing here is just a grotesque floccinaucinihilipilification! And Yes, I only chose to use this word to deliberately upset those of you who suffer from acute hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobi!

I remember a time in history when writing was a form of magic that was once readily accepted and developed as a method for affecting reality…alas the true writers and gifted poets are dead and the rest of us who try to be can’t measure up because no one dares to read the words or hear the ones spoken by such “misfits” who don’t conform to society’s creed!*


Blind following the blind like always-lemmings they are. Those who believe Obama to be some saint are no different than those who believe Bush to be a religious righteous man worth voting for. This is my vehement rant on the political agenda of our “WESTERN” society. A society that runs on the gears of an industrious materialistic world that has little care for the human experience and holds little value and regard for life, whether that life be human or otherwise. We are a collection of crooked people with crooked values, with crooked morals, and crooked views who dance ever so crookedly to the beautifully disenchanted crooked tunes of Government infrastructures. A tortured humanity.

Governments with agenda’s cleverly disguised as genuine Robin Hood ideals meant to help all and save all. Those Government monsters who speak with such beautiful words, so enticing they are, so easily persuasive they are for the minds of people who are “adjusted”(err indoctrinated) to follow and never lead or think for themselves. We live in societies where people are not a priority and this is the truth, even if you wish not to believe it. Next time you go to the mall think about that when you go to make your next purchase of select designer items… do you really need all that? Our world runs on materialistic greed! There is a child down in the alley outside without a winter coat and holes in his shoes…right here in OUR country-and on millions of street corners across the world!

Every last one of them…those people…Beau Monde wannabes, more concerned with keeping up with the Jones. How many young ladies do you see walking around with $300 Ugg Boots and Northface Jackets with their Coach purses and Gucci sun glasses? How many young men do you see walking around with the latest Apple I-phones or purchasing their expensive game systems, computers, and cars? All the while many of them barely making the minimum payment on their credit cards. Absolute disregard for personal responsibility, but why should they care, the Government is going to “fix” it right? The Government promises so much…and we feed right into this…hook-line-and-sinker…silly little fish.

We have become nothing but a bunch of spoiled children wanting someone else (Government) to take care of us. This isn’t the definition of socialism as I once knew it! What of the smug people with small salaries buying the most expensive houses they could on a zero down inflatable mortgages with absolute disregard to the bubble effect this would cause? Did they honestly think they would be able to afford those houses once the monthly payment increased? No, they didn’t care, because the Government would be there ready and waiting. Yeah that’s right, cleanup up on aisle 10!

Come on, didn’t you know, it is cool to be the one who has everything? That is our goal in life, to have “things”. Materialistic virtue is what we all live for, yeah, we will consider helping others, only after we have acquired all it is we want! Even the First Lady knows this with all twenty-six of her “servants”! The annual cost to taxpayers for such unprecedented attention is approximately $1,750,000 without taking into account the expense of the lavish benefit packages afforded to every attendant.

Little did American voters realize the call for “change” would result in the establishment of an Obama oligarchy. (http://www.canadafreepress.com/index.php/article/13827) Are the Obamas really any different than any other presidential family? Politicians are and always will be completely interchangeable…one and the same…1+1=1 in the world of politics. Let us not forget the plethora of brainwashed “dummies” marching forth from top accredited universities around the world, forming their “opinions”, their “conclusions” and their “ideals” on indoctrinated thought passed on through curriculums within the public fool (I meant school-really I did) systems!

Also the next time you feel the need to help others by donating, can you not be like the majority who asks for a tax return? Heaven forbid you do something gracious and not expect a “favor” in return. What message does that send? Do something good for others as long as you get something out of it and see benefit from helping someone in need? The benefit should merely be the fact that you felt good about doing something great for someone in a desperate situation! I work with a handful of kids each day who live lives in a horrible reality that very few of us could ever imagine. This is wrong, and those very “Governments” that promise so much do very little in the GRAND SCHEME of things!

We have all collectively lost our awareness of our own essence and have otherwise allowed ourselves to become a pawn in someone else’s version of the game called life. Manipulating and managing the reality from behind the scenes is an age-old practice perfected by political and religious institutes over the grand expanse of human existence. People as a whole collective are the only ones who can make things happen who can make change. They don’t need to rely on Government or Religious infrastructures to initiate change. They can do this for themselves if they are willing to work on the same page…if they are willing to do something on their own, willing to go against the “normal” way of doing things. Willing to think for themselves and do for themselves for a change!

People need to wake up rather than support the fraudulent intentions of all acts of war. Threats of war and the creation of enemies serve to keep the masses under control by falsely arousing fearful emotions. War instigates unhealthy social chaos; it releases emotional repression based on feelings of victimhood and disempowerment. It is up to us as “humans” to understand our awareness and our attention to this awareness will determine the version of the world we wish to create! Do we want a peaceful world or do we want to follow the fashionable crowd further down into the depths of materialistic greed the feeds into power and conflict? WAKE UP for a change and think for yourself and consider this world and all the OTHER people who live and share in the human experience.
All of us have collectively lost our grasp of reality…myself included. Can we ever find it again?

There I am done with my rant! I suppose I should welcome any verbal berating that should come by way… as I like to think I have an open mind and intelligent enough to placate healthy discourse!

The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Isometric Isomorphism

This poem will probably make absolutely no sense to anyone other than myself. I had a dream last night that I was standing in front of a shattered mirror screaming at the top of my lungs over and over again, "Isometric Isomorphism, Isometric Isomorphism!" This is just a weird poem inspired by a weird dream. I think I understand it but I am not sure if anyone else will!
Everyday I wake up to a one dimensional world...

human monotony
religion and politics together-a mind stunting neoteny
what travesty
people blind, not able to see outside and beyond indoctrinated reality
losing piece by piece their absolute totality
disillusioned by their stunted mentality

The Euclidean March I call it
prefected by political propaganda and holy writ

Humanity walks a very thin line
without knowledge of real time

Human monotony limiting us to one dimension
our intellect and consciousness are kept from ascension
handicapping our mind
making the truth so very hard to find

Humanity not thinking beyond one dimension barely seeing two
let alone three or four
or the possibility of there ever being more
no longer having the drive to explore
for a truth they would most certainly adore

They continue this one dimensional thinking
never rethinking
just one dimensional flat thinking

Thinking only inside out and never outside and beyond
just content trying to be part of the beau monde,
that never ceasing pathetic materialistic quest
of which the truly intelligent are never impressed

for the intelligent are always searching
and always researching

continuing to look for all the answers
they are the never tiring intellectual dancers

while the others are stuck in their false reality
that forecasts a certain fatality

Each person trapped on their own embedded layer
unable to see the truth of the universal multilayer

Stuck we are in a complex system of an isometric isomorphism
searching for our hyperbolic quaternion-our magic prism
we are stuck between untruth and truth in a hellish schism

Lucky I have been, for I have gazed through the optical prism
into a world that goes on infinitely outside the hellish schism
I have learned that when ordinary three dimensions of space combine
they form a single dimension of time
a waltz called Minkowski's Spacetime

a four dimensional manifold
a place where many dimensions of possibility unfold
a reality that is a true site to behold

The mindless mass of humanity can have their one dimensional world
I have held the knowledge of the truth unfurled
I have seen the truthful real world

I would rather waltz with Minkowski while singing his tune
than march with Euclidean to his doom

"Space by itself
and time by itself
are doomed
to fade away
into mere shadows
unless they dance
together in unison
preserving their
Independent Reality"

Einstein knew it, so too did Lorentz and Poincare


Chasing after Truth, Time, and Space for eternity shall by a wild affair!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

It Doesn’t Rhyme

The dawn light embalms a nameless husk
She looks an awful lot like me except for the smile
My loneliness echoes on into the coming dusk
If only I have somewhere to go
I am sitting alone in an industrious world
Staring into the flame of a candle
I’ve closed my mind about the past
Open doors do not always lead to new beginnings
Open doors do not always lead home
This is not my home and I shout to empty walls
While those sad songs keep playing
Set on repeat, again and again; looping
Running over every moment through my mind
Old thoughts, hopes, and dreams lost
I know they wouldn’t last
Just more transparent ordinary hours
I am wishing on stars I have never seen
Believing one day the sun will rise again
I wait in vain for a dawn that may not come
And remain still a nameless husk
Walking amongst million of others
Just like me
Seeking their own identity
No longer wanting to be nameless
Reality shrieks- I am just another face in the crowd

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

SCREAMINGbetweenLINES

She the BEAUTIFUL marionette
dances on silver fabled STRINGS
to the tune OF
his LIES

MAYBE next year
HE’LL marry her

Five years
a PROMISE ring
bound HER finger

WHITE flag
stained with stale blood
red as ROSES
SHE
never RECEIVED
only THORNS instead
PIERCING parables
of love

A story FABLED
from the beginning

five years flew by
a long time holds onto
nothing but
an empty PROMISE

time SAVES
all but
NONE
at least
not HER

WASTED moments
in DESPAIR
the FRACTURES vein
THROUGH a broken mirror
five YEARS bad luck

SHATTERED complexions
WITH many eyes
staring back
at HER expressionless gaze
the true REFLECTION
OF
her heart

the hour glass
never did hold
TIME

silica chases silica
on the WHISPERING
winds OF eternity

A once false hope
now whispers TRUTH
with CERTAINTY

he loves her
but is not in love
with her

similarly
her heart ECHOES
the same sentiment
amongst SILENT beats

one marionette string
now breaks
under the tensions
of VERACITY

her tears WASHING
away THE blurred vision
of a FANTASY
she ONCE
BELIEVED

on the horizon
a CLEAN slate

SHE IS STUCK
too hard to go forward
not worth going back

NOT KNOWING
how to begin again
HOW TO START OVER
remaining strings now dissolve
BUT A MARIONETTE NO LONGER!

©2009 L.Warren

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Unto the Edge of Edges

Here I am again standing in a familiar spot. My mind and heart are neither here nor there, but running about feverishly everywhere- in too many different directions for me to keep up. I have been here before, many times before. I stand here at this point near the beginning which is the very same point found near the ending. I know that without a beginning there can be no ending and without an ending there is no beginning. Time divides where an object or an area begins and ends. Time is the brink between that which is here and there, past and present, life and death, endings and beginnings. Time is the edgeless point that defines where everything is forever and forever is at the edge of all edges.

I am stuck at this point not sure which direction to take. Do I step forward into a new beginning or do I step back into the familiar territory of an old ending? How could two different directions, two different steps be so different and yet the same? Chances do not present themselves without risks being taken and regrets come to full power when opportunities are missed. There can be no beginnings or endings without risks being taken and opportunities being seized or let go.

Some follow their hearts and some follow their minds, but me, I wait for that right time. A time when my mind catches up to my heart, that very moment when both come to together and meet me on the very spot I stand right now. Opportunity that presents itself during such an alignment as heart and mind is certainly worth taking. It is a rare occurrence, I know, if logic and emotion were ever to meet harmoniously in the middle-never say never, there is always a possibility for wonderful occurrences to happen. Surely a meeting such as this is a promise of finally being able to step forward and capture a moment of forever.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Jumping Off Bridges with the 29th Prime and Sonnet 109

My mind has been working feverishly at contemplating many of my usual conceptual complexities. Laws of synchronicities and coincidences, recurrence, soul mates, Gematria occurrences, and the likes all are par for the course when it comes to the many musing that whirl about in my head. Last night I found myself considering the number 109 and I really not sure why. I think it started when I was researching some ideas I had come across in regards to soul mates. I stumbled upon a web page where the author discusses a Love Sequence based on the Fibonacci equation sequences. His concept was at first difficult to grasp and I admit my math skills are trivial at best, but he spent countless hours researching graphing and charting his ideas. His findings were interesting and a bit exaggerated but they aroused my curiosity enough to cause me research his concepts further.

The number 109 has a lot of symbolism to it, both in the occult world, masonry, Bible, Torah, and other religious text. It is the 29th prime number as well as being a Chen Prime. 109 is a Prime Number. In math concepts 109 can be Partitioned 55 times with each term no larger than 2. The Number 109 can be Partitioned 1045 times with each term no larger than 3. It is a Centered Triangular Number as well as a Centered 18-gonal Number. The number 109 is also a Centered 36-gonal Number.

109 is also a very unique number because it is also a relevant number with in the Fibonacci series in which case 109 displays the forward and backward sequences and this is further exemplified by the fact that it is a repeating decimal fraction with 108 characters! We are able to see the beginning of the Fibonacci sequence in the LAST 6 digits of the decimal equivalent of 1/109, appearing in REVERSE order starting from the END of the decimal. (i.e., 0,1,1,2,3,5, 8 appears as ...853211). We can take each Fibonacci number, divide it by 10 raised to the power of 109 MINUS its position in the Fibonacci sequence (starting with 0) and add them all together, you get the reciprocal of 109.I know I am probably going out on a limb here as I explore the relevancies of this theory. We can further see a uniqueness in the number 109 when we take another Fibonacci number and divide it by 10 raised to the power of its position in the Fibonacci sequence and add and subtract each alternate term together you get .00917431 which is yet the reciprocal of 109 again. Interesting!

In Chemistry Atomic number 109 represents the chemical element Meitnerium, which is a synthetic element that is produced in small quantities by high-energy ion bombardment, making it a radioactive transuranic element. Then there are specific meanings applied to the number 109 within Gematria that also prove to be very interesting. Within Hebrew Gematria the number 109 has come to hold a number of significant meanings; "Brother of a King", Brother of a Gift", “to be about to take or lay hold of”, “to break forth, to be bright”, "Yah Redeems", "Appointment”, “to eat or devour”, “a store-house, granary”, “quiet, stillness; comfort or ease; settlement (in life or marriage); quietly; resting place”, “a sheath; a body (as the soul's sheath)”, “to be dark”, and “to cover or hide”, are a few of those meanings I have researched. There still is a lot more symbolism that pertains to the number 109 in Masonic codes, and other religious texts, but I will spare you the trouble of having to read all of that. I am sure there are now many of you either baffled or utterly convinced by now that I am insane.

The very fact of the matter is that despite all the verbose paragraphs preceding this one, there was a reason to the relevancy of my interest in the number 109 and it has once again to do with synchronicity and coincidence. I could have obliterated all the paragraphs before this one, but it wouldn’t have been as fun to write. There is also a certain twisted humor for me, in the thought of all you actually trying to read what I have written and making sense of it. During my studies of that number 109 I “accidentally” found William Shakespeare’s Sonnet 109. Sonnet 109 is extremely symbolic to me in regards to the current themes of “temptation, original sin, and love loss” that have been reoccurring in my blogs. I have also been heavily influenced by what has been going on in the media in regards to Tiger Wood’s ordeal. Frankly it has really bothered me, so please keep that in consideration as you read this blog and some of the ones that precede this.

Sonnet 109
O never say that I was false of heart,
Though absence seemed my flame to qualify.
As easy might I from myself depart
As from my soul, which in thy breast doth lie.
That is my home of love; if I have ranged,
Like him that travels I return again,
Just to the time, not with the time exchanged,
So that myself bring water for my stain.
Never believe, though in my nature reigned
All frailties that besiege all kinds of blood,
That it could so preposterously be stained
To leave for nothing all thy sum of good.
  For nothing this wide universe I call,
  Save thou, my rose; in it thou art my all.

I have always loved this particular Sonnet and the deeper meaning I see in it. I am surprised I didn’t recall it when I first began pondering on the number 109. Again, it is coincidence that I would happen to revisit this piece again, this time with a renewed interest. I admit that I was quit piqued the very first time I read this poem back during my freshman year of college. The understanding I had of this poem at this time was that the poet was revealing how his feelings for a “lover” cool when he is away. Allowing him to partake in many infidelities and he admits that he knows it is wrong but cannot help himself yet proclaims that his love for his “rose” has been strengthened on account of his error or as he calls, his stain.

I should also make note that the particular professor I had during this course was an extreme feminist, naturally she was inclined to persuade our thinking in her direction of thought. She was constantly bashing men every chance she got and Shakespeare sure made it easy with these particular sonnet. I think it is relevant to point her “fem-Nazi” sentiment because later on in my college years I came across the same sonnet this time during a philosophy class being taught by a professor who was openly bisexual. This is interesting because he was one of those who believed that Shakespeare was bisexual if not homosexual and all the sonnets from 109-112 pay homage to Shakespeare’s erotic interest in men, and thus likely to persuade our thoughts in that direction. This dynamic of how your mind and way of thinking is influenced by how it is taught to you and by who is very interesting to me. I can definitely relate this aspect to how religious leaders influence our thoughts in regards to religion and spirituality.

Having matured quite a bit more from those “college” days I am inclined to take a different stance on the poem entirely but still agree that the underlying them of infidelity and sin play a significant role. I believe that the poet is merely comparing and contrasting his innocent youth with his stained adulthood. In the age of innocence he knew right and wrong and was taught to fear the possible consequences of his actions. In adulthood his innocence was no longer protected and temptation was there. Being away from home he made choices that he knew to be wrong but he identifies with them as being a part of his nature- human nature, almost as though he is using this as valediction for his actions. This thought additionally plays into my whole concept of temptation and original sin which I have written about a lot in lieu. The poet is merely apologizing to himself though not asking for forgiveness and the rose is merely a symbol for his innocent youth.

Lines 3-4: = 'It would be as easy for me to separate myself from myself as it would be for me to separate myself from you (my true self- his youth), i.e., it would be impossible'.
Line 5. my home of love - the beloved place to which I always return; my base; my essential being; the core of love, which is my starting and ending point-ranged = wandered, (a euphemism for promiscuity).
Line 6. like him that travels - the phrase may be taken (promiscuously) with what proceeds and what follows.

Think about your youth and how protected and guarded you were in your thinking. Perhaps you were indoctrinated by very religious parents with overbearing fundamental ideals that they passed on to you or used them to set fear in your mind. I remember my youth and the promises I made to myself regarding being a good wholesome person, most of those ideas being enhanced by my parents teachings as well as religious/spiritual beliefs that I was taught. When adulthood came I did break many of these set guidelines I had for myself, but in doing so I learned more about myself, and though I came to regret some of those decisions I certainly didn’t feel as though I needed forgiveness for them. While there are some choices I will forever be guilty about making I am still left thinking if I would be a different person today had I not taken those risks, had I not been tempted to act upon urges.
I still miss that innocence I once had and know that it is in that thought that I still have a “home” where I can seek comfort and security when the world around me gets to unbearable. I still have that bit of youth and with it a certain innocence that is still there deep within me that helps me deal with my adulthood complexities. Like the poet in Sonnet 109, I have sinned and I am stained and I realize that my in “stains” have made me a better person. I have never cheated on a loved one but I have cheated on myself…we all are guilty of that! We must also understand that there is still an innocent rose somewhere deep within all of us that calls us home and comforts us.

Yet the whole trouble I have with this sonnet that it allows me to see my own willingness to accept my sins and in a sense wear my “stain” proudly. Yet the irony here is this bothers me in itself because if everyone were to so willingly accept their mistakes and not seek forgiveness but wear their stains proudly like badges of honor, is this not bad? It is like that age old analogy of “jumping off bridges” if you see one person do it, does it make it all right for you to do it too? So, as you can see it tears me in two and I am left now with more questions than I had when I first started writing this.

Accepting sins thus makes them okay and lessens the weight of guilt and remorse, which can be a dangerous way to live one’s life. I picture the spoiled child whose mother tells him she is not going to give him his lollipop if he doesn’t behave, the child doesn’t behave because he knows his mom will still give him the lollipop. Therefore he has learned nothing in regards to control urges and tantrums because he still gets what he wants in the end. This child grows up to become an adult who goes about doing what he wants in the world with little regard to his behavior and the feelings of others, it’s okay in the end as long as he still gets what he wants.
When ascertaining these deductions of mine I know I must keep in mind that this is entirely subjective thinking on my part and that each person may have their own interpretation of Sonnet 109. I am sure there are some of you who feel I have gone way out on a limb, which I probably have, because that is where my mind likes to take me. Analyzing poetry is like analyzing a painting and the way you interpret it depends solely on how that work is interacting with you.
This concept of analysis is dependent upon the highly personal relationship and dialogue that goes on between an observer and this particular sonnet. In short, having said all of that, I now conclude this lengthy blog here, although I am still contemplating that leap from the proverbial bridge with the 29th Prime and Sonnet 109! There is still much to be learned about the number 109.

A Morning Musing #1

The Serpentine Mind
Disentangles
From branches of confusion
Uncoils its knowldge to greet the dawn
And sees
In growing light

Great colored, feathered wings
That grew unnoticed in its sleep

Understanding perfectly
In a single rush of joy

It flies above the ancient promises
Beyond where the forest lies
To the sea
The open sea

As rings around the Morning Star
Light corridors through the air
-Quetzalcoatl